Toilets

Assalam u alaikum,

Funny, this blog thing is starting to grow on me. I find myself composing lines for it or thinking up titles for it. Maybe I have a deep-seated psychological need to express myself. Maybe I am just a stuck-up little kid trying to prove he has a bigger ego than everyone else. Insha'allah not.

I think that sometimes I am like a toilet: nice and clean on the outside, but unclean on the inside. That sounds rather depressing, but it's true: when I come back I can pretend to be all pious and stuff (double that if I go to the Rihla) but inside I might still be the same. I might have all the same faults and problems that I had before, only this time my tongue has another language to hurt people with, that's all. So I need everyone's dua that doesn't happen. I know that it's not impossible. Crystal glasses exist as well as toilets.

By the way, I am not faulting anyone who has been to the Rihla. I am only blaming myself, because I and Allah alone know what I do and what I think.

Classes are going well, alhamdulillah. We've really got into the mushtaqqat now: the way you can derive millions of words from a single root word. It's pretty neat, you feel like some sort of detective, trying to compare all the words against the root word. Sometimes it get's all mushed up in your brain like a newspaper. But I like it alhamdulillah.

Yeah, I like it. No need to continuously qualify myself. I am who I am, I don't need to justify the motives behind the words. I always feel this continuous urge to make sure everyone knows that yes, Ameer is very humble, he's not showing off...but enough. This toilet's going to get a real good scrubbing.

Insha'allah.

Ma'asalam,

~Ameer