The Usual Suspects (A Juha Story)

This is a Juha story. It would work well in a modern thriller, I'm sure. And if you're wondering, it sounds worse in Arabic, believe you me.

The title of the story is open to speculation. Intially I toyed with "Nice Story" then "Juha Strikes Back" then "The Great Juha Returns". Finally, I just named it after one of the world's movies famous for making you feeling empty inside.

Once upon a time, Juha was riding his donkey through the desert. Suddenly, he heard approaching footsteps. Juha kept his cool, and rode on as if he didn't hear them. In fact, he listened carefully to their conversation (my teacher said it's bad adhab to eavesdrop, but I suppose there are no eaves in the desert, and Juha doesn't follow any adhab rules, so it's safe to proceed without getting commented on by the super radical religious police we have going in Edmonton "blearily reads an email regarding the tawhid of the Nation of Islam, based on a Wikipedia article"). Anyhow, he found out that they were theives, plotting to steal his camel; perhaps they would kill him in the process.

Juha immediatly intiated a plan that would have stunned Keyser Soze; he pretended that he was majnoon and insane. Then he quickly hopped off the donkey and ran into the desert, singing. At night time, the theives unloosed the harness of the donkey and intiated the Brilliant Master Plan of the Master Criminal. One theif ran off with the donkey, and the other hooked himself up to the bridle. (I guess this was a ploy to confuse Juha. Go figure.)

Anyway, Juha comes back in the middle of the night and manages to mistake the man for the donkey. He runs off into the desert, all night. In the morning though, the man reveals himself as...you guessed it...a man. The theif claims that he was changed into a donkey in the past because his mother made dua against him because he never listened to her (que in Sami Yusuf "Mother, I'm Blessed Without You"). He claims to have been caught and sold into Juha's ownership. Now, his mother has apparently asked for his forgiveness, and he is back into a man. (sounds just like a steal from Beauty and the Beast). Juha tells him cryptically "Alhamdullilah. You're free. Don't ever offend your mother."

The next day, Juha is walking in the market when he finds the theives selling his donkey. Instead of calling the police, Juha walks up to the donkey and whispers into it's ear, "Why did you offend your mother."

The people inquired why Juha was talking to a donkey. Juha told his story, and the police made the approriate arrests. The story ends with Juha walking out of the police station to the donkey waiting outside.

"After that, I don't think you'll see him again."

Wasalam,

Mustafa.