Comeback Story

In everything that happens there is some good. We just don't know what it is, and may never know till we go back to Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

Two days left...no matter how much I tell myself that time will fly, I am not able to understand it, just like a baby floating in his mother's stomach cannot understand how big the world really is. I float between exuberance and fear. I am joyous because I am insha'allah going back to Ammi and Abdullah and Khadija and Sauleha and Khala and Khalloo and Nana and Iman and Amin and everyone in Edmonton. What a great city we have. Our numbers are small but we are such a strong and active community, and the people who live here are role models for me. At the same time I fear the judgement of others, which is silly, because I didn't learn Arabic for people. I know that when I go back that there will be people who come to me and say, "Oh, you learned Arabic?" and then start talking to me in aamiya . What will I say then? "Oh well, actually you aren't speaking Arabic!?"

Abu gave me some advice. He said, "Treat what you've learned like treasure. Don't expose it to just anyone. Just like you keep jewels in a safe place, keep you Arabic hidden. That way all your work isn't destroyed in the fire known as showing off."

The trouble is, a lot of people love to wear their all their jewels, spattered all over their bodies. The gaudy look has a way of enchanting the viewer, making him believe that the wearer is truly wealthy. In Pakistan some ladies, if they see someone else wearing a certain kind of necklace or earrings, will go to the jeweller and ask him to make the same one just so they don't have to feel inferior.

I look at the stars, and ready myself for the dawn.

~Ameer

I wake up after only seeing the beginning of my dream...but I will grasp whatever happens after that with both arms.

~Ameer

My field of vision blurs as life roars ahead. I cannot imagine that my four and half months are up, that this is it, I'm going back. I'm waking up now after my dream, that period between sleep and wakefulness where you want to do both. Fear dominates my horizons; will all the work I've put it in go to waste where I go back to land where the bakers do not speak to me in the language of paradise? Will I forget?

Will I forget what I've learnt? Will I go back to being the same as I was, the little kid who wanted to stay in Canada so that he could play soccer all summer? Will I actually now take what I've learnt and apply it, use it like I've dreamed of?

Insha'allah.

Labayk Allahumma labayk.

~Ameer

Ahh...what it is this thing we call human beings? I can't understand it. The thing that really is me, the real me, who is it? Where is it? As I was walking to class, and watched all the people working on their various things, it occurred to me that I won't even be here in two weeks. And no one will even notice. Our lives aren't like that. No more what kind of people we are, we affect the thing around us, for better or worse. My teacher has changed me; I've absorbed his habits and ideas without even noticing.

Another crazy idea is that this body that I have, the one that I am always trying to make stronger, will only stay with me for a limited time. The real me, Ameer Omar Farooq, will leave this physical vehicle and go on somewhere else, someplace eternal. When you actually think about that...there is much that we do not understand.

Anyways, please pray that we benefit from what we've learned.

And that we persist.

~Ameer

Sleepy camel, woken up

Abu, in the shadow of the pyramids (maybe the other way around)?

New arrival, in the focus. My Abu.

Reading Qura'an, on a Golden Day, in the Golden City

Prone. Exhausted. Very Tired. Sleepy. Alhamdulillah.

Now

Saving the world...the dream of every young person with blood and a heart. We want to lift the suffering from people, remove poverty, wipe out injustice, and help everyone to live in peace and serenity. Too many of us tire ourselves out waiting for that moment when we can start that movement, make that discovery, and do something "really worth doing." People my age live their lives depressed because we are afraid that we will end up working our whole lives for "the big fridge" or "shark tank" or whatever term you want to use for living your life for the here and the now.

But don't abandon your dreams.

Start living them. Now.

Farooq bhai, or Omar bhai, or Murtada bhai, may never get awards for advising us to go Egypt. No one will probably ever know, or ever really care. But those few hours they spent with us did change the world. My life, and Mustafa's, will never be the same now that we've at least got a basic grasp of Arabic. A part of everything we read and enjoy and benefit from will go to them in terms of rewards.

So I've decided...I will live my dreams. Only I will start now, insha'allah. I will help the people around me, the people that I know and the people that I don't. Because if I do that, a wave starts; it begins with me and I feel its ripples come back to me. So oh my brethren, don't wait for the opportunity that never comes, the ideal job that doesn't exist, the period of leisure where you'll be free to do what you want, don't wait for it. Life is too short. One minute you are fine and the next you're gone and you can't delay that moment for even a second.

And to a certain lady out there, I pray for you everyday, everytime I read my Qur'an. I pray for your health, and I am certain there is something good in whatever happens.

And to certain other people out there, your effort is never lost. But please, make sure you rest and recharge and don't try to do everything. As the Arabic saying goes, only someone who has something can give it.

And please pray for me, all of you.

~Ameer

5 Things I Would Have Done The Same, Cont.

3.) I would have bought the same apartment.

Alhamdulillah, this is one thing that Allah really made easy for us. I know that the rent is pretty high but it definitely has been worth it. Alhamdulillah the apartment has really become (oh boy I am about to use a really horrific cliche) "home away from home"; whenever we go travelling to the pyramids or the museum and stuff we always have a huge sense of relief when we arrive home. It has a vibrant vitality to it. Alhamdulillah. I haven't seen a nicer apartment than ours in our entire trip. Having a place where we felt comfortable helped a lot with helping us to keep fresh and rested.

4.) I would not take any roommates.

I know that a lot of people really enjoyed having roommates, like Arif bhai and Atiq bhai. They said their stay in Egypt was more exciting when their friends were still with them. I also think that if I had a roommate who was better at Arabic than me, it would have helped me to improve my conversation skills (which I think still remains my weakest area).

But on the other hand, knowing myself, I probably would have despaired of ever being able to reach the same level as my roommate. It also would have been hard to adjust to another person's schedule, ideas, and suluk. The advantage with Mustafa and me (other than that I can boss him around :) ) is that we both can read each other really well and we know when to back off and give a guy his space.

5.) ....

I can't think of anything right now. Those were the most important things, I guess. In all, the trip I think was successful alhamulillah. The only thing is that it might have been good to stay a little longer, but I don't think i would be able to handle staying away from Ammi and Abu any longer.

Well, insha'allah Abu is coming tomorrow night. I pray he get's here safely with no problems.

Marhaban bikum fi misr!

~Ameer

It's That Time

Now that I have only one month left in Egypt, it's time to step back and take a look at the trip. Please forgive me for the belly-gazing, but I think it's important that I try to analyze and soak up all that's happened.

10 Things I Would Have Done the Same

1.) I would still travel to learn Arabic.

Alhamdulillah on the whole I've really benefited from the trip. I know that this is not the end of our Arabic learning curve, there's no question about that, but it's a good way to put down the fundamentals. I also think that it was important that we travelled to an Arabic country. Even if the average person doesn't speak proper fus'ha Arabic, at least distancing ourselves from Arabic helped. Also, the fact that we were away from our family helped us to focus because we knew how much everyone had sacrificed in order for us to be here. Travelling brings with its own sweetness and barakah and you can flatter yourself into believing that you are travelling on the same path as the scholars of the past. (At least you can try.)

Appreciation for having learned some Arabic I think will come after time. Right now everything is so condensed and you're so focused on Arabic you don't really realize all the doorways that the language can open for you. Insha'allah we'll finally be able to read tafsir of the Qur'an in our morning car sessions, we can listen to Arabic lectures, we will able to taste a little more of the sweetness of language without needing an intermediary. Alhamdulillah. And this is only the beginning...I can only imagine how much fun it will be to have Arabic classes with Ammo Rafik now.

2.) I would still travel to Egypt.

I'm perhaps a little bit unqualified to say this, considering I've only ever learned Arabic in one place, but I think I would still come to Egypt again. I really enjoyed learning Arabic in such a unique place. Egypt has a large percentage of Christians living side by side with Muslims. It's a place of ancient history, with *obviously* the pyramids and many ancient artifacts. There's the Nile, a part of which (I've heard) flows in Paradise. And most of all, there are the Egyptian people. A more generous and open-hearted people would be hard to find anywhere. And despite all the hardships they've faced, they remain optimistic and welcoming.

In addition, Markaz Al-Diwan is a top-notch place to learn Arabic. I've heard tons of criticism about Al-Diwan: it's too expensive, they try to hurry you along, you have to go to class instead of the teacher coming to you etc. etc. but I've realized that having a good, orderly system makes a huge difference when learning the language. I've met some students who have been studying for a long time but still can't speak Arabic. The qualified teachers in Al-Diwan make a world of difference, irrespective of whether the student is just looking for a little improvement or if the student has not seen an Arabic letter in his/her life. My teacher, Ustadh Ibrahim, is more than just an instructor now; he's my friend, and I'll never forget him for the rest of my life.

Man, belly-gazing is fun! More things I would have done the same later insha'allah.

~Ameer